For once...
I’m glad people don’t get to comment. :-)
I have tried to avoid posting stuff that is a downer, and I will no doubt hear from my dad that I should try to be more positive. Well, this is me venting so that I can BE more positive, OK?
I’m tired of dealing with two weddings in one summer. Seriously. The person that proposes first should, by rights, get to get married first. The other person, out of sheer COMPASSION should move aside for a few months, cool off, and THEN have their wedding. Yes, that’s how I feel. Yes, that’s what I would have done, and I’m willing to bet that should I take a survey, 90% of respondents would agree. You don’t steal the thunder.
How do people do it? Where do we get the money? Bills, cars, gas, children - I don’t understand it. The one thing that I wish I didn’t have to worry about is money, but it becomes the one thing that is always on my mind. School loans are just a small part. Yeah yeah yeah I know - I’ve heard it before. “School loans are just part of life - it’s an investment in your future.” Exactly. Let’s hope the freakin’ investment pays off before I check out. At the rate I’m going, having a home is YEARS off, especially if we end up settling in an expensive part of the country. “Trust God,” everyone says. Yeah - you say it because you’ve done it and seen it. I’ve only had a small taste of that it quite frankly, the thought of trusting God with my money scares the shit out of me (if you’ll pardon my French).
Food, food food. Part of the reason I’m in a crappy mood today is because for two weeks, I have pretty much stuck to my diet, increased my workout by 25% and seen NO results on the scale or around my waist. I’m irritated. I drink water until it comes out of my pores, I eat like there’s no tomorrow, but I’m never full. I don’t even feel the food I ate after 10 minutes. It’s like it goes in, gets burned up (faster than my car drinks gas) and then I’m hungry all over again. Add to all THAT my shoulder that continually gives me problems and won’t let me work out as hard as I could, and you’ve got a great thing going on.
Let’s see, what else… Oh yeah - I’m stuck in between my family. My mom and dad refuse to try and see things from my perspective, and I end up feeling like once again, I’m getting screwed. It’s not intentional - they care, they just have no idea how to show it without the risk of damaging another fragile relationship that has taken years to build. Mine’s fine - trust me. I’ve weathered their storm for 10 years. I’m sure I can continue to be the one that stands even though there is a hurricane around.
You know what else? All this stuff just goes toward hurting the ONE relationship that I need the most. Elizabeth. She’s the best thing that’s happened to me in forever. When I get moody or cranky, she suffers too. When you’re in a relationship, both people are affected regardless of what the situation is. I hate dragging her down. I really do. Then I start to feel bad about that, and it just fuels everything else.
I feel better. I really do. The people around me here at Starbucks are probably glad that I’m done - I’m not banging on the keyboard anymore.
I’m listening to Coldplay’s new album. It’s OK. I shouldn’t have spent the money on it, though. I thought it would be like their two singles, and it’s not. It’s not bad, though - just not great. I’m holding out for U2’s new album hopefully sometime late this year.
Thanks guys, for being listening ears. I appreciate it. I’m getting along fine - just had to vent.